Keeping it real. If you're going to turn your life around and write about it then you need to keep it real or that writing means nothing.
So in that spirit I will tell you that yesterday was a bad, bad day. Maybe it's resistance, maybe it's circumstances, whatever. The upshot was that I lay awake at early o'clock feeling like every haggard, worn-out, worn-down, 40something woman you've seen in the street and read as having been seriously disappointed by life. It wasn't pretty.
This morning I was dreading going to see the Beagles after two weeks, fairly certain that the lump I'd found on one of them was terminal and maybe she'd even be gone already. The skies opened on my journey there and I had no coat. I work outside for half my time with them. It was just the last bloody straw on top of a whole load of straws that I'm not going to list here.
Fortunately I was able to call on something inside. Yes, with my reiki healing and communing with nature and animal spirit guides and woo-woo up the wa-zoo I did what any wild, barefooted woman would do. I took a deep breath and asked myself:
"What would River Song do?".
Cos I'm all deep 'n' shit.
The thing is, it may sound silly but that silliness makes me want to kick some arse, namely mine, and that drive is something I can lack at times. I need firing up and a time-travelling, Time Lord-loving, gun-toting, fez-shooting, hypnolipstick-wearing Space Hottie in her 40s inspires me and restores my sense of humour. Whatever works, eh?
Turned out, Tash's lumps are benign and she's in good shape. The Beagles' people were pleased to see me and gave me lots of young tomato plants to bring home. I stayed indoors and bathed all the dogs which was a great excuse for extra cuddles. Beagle Therapy is pretty special and although I still got soaked at least the water was warm.
I also spent an hour on my mobile phone, in Sainsbury's car park (I know, can you even cope with the glamour?), putting worlds to rights with Susannah who was in need of a rant. I know that if you read a certain type of blog, you'll see Susannah's name all over the place because she's awesome but I'm going to tell you that actually...she's way more awesome than that. And she makes me laugh.
I got home and whipped up a glass of green juice that flooded my system with life and goodness (I mistyped that as 'goodnews', that too). Sigh. Greeeeeeen.
There is sunshine outside and that's where I belong so I'm off. I just want to say that if you try to turn things around then you're going to have bad days when you have to look those things in the eye. No more evasion, you have to know their name to say goodbye. That takes strength that sometimes can be hard to muster. I think calling on your favourite shero is a very acceptable way to kick things into action. Who's yours?
*that would be her standard opening line.
