shapeshifting

Lighten up

He'll kill me for saying it but Charlie is 50 tomorrow. We grew up a generation who believed that 50 was 'old'. The age of grandparents and dodderiness. Now here we are with a four year old daughter, a 9 year old relationship, big dreams for our future and a belief in our own relevance.

No one can teach you about ageing when you're young. You don't get it until you've done it and seen really how little and how much it matters. There are days when you remember every moment, every lesson hard-learnt and every trouble. There are days when you feel truly above the pull of time and gravity and no, it ain't nuthin' but a number.

It is what it is. We are who we are. Wherever we stand in the picture.

With Evie starting school in 5 weeks, Charlie finally quitting the airline and mapping his path forward and me learning how to live life instead of attempting to steer it, this is a time of change for us as a family. It has been for months and months - years even - but suddenly it's starting to make sense to us. And that's good.

One thing is clear to me: in my drive to secure life around me and us I've gathered a lot of weight. In my body, my mind and my home. It's impossible to stand here now and not feel over-burdened.

First, thanks to the translation skills of my holistic therapist, I learnt again how to listen to my body which was telling me it needed to drop some serious ballast in the forms of stored memory, pain and adipose tissue. And hair. The hair goes tomorrow. Couch to 5K starts today. Eating when I'm hungry is already underway.

A more daunting project is clearing my stuff. Seriously. I'm a thrifter and a collector and that's fun but I take it too far. I see lovely things that I want to buy to sell and then I keep them and now my feng shui is seriously fenged up.

Wiltshire

Now, I'm not about to leave my sanctuary here in Wiltshire for the coast of Queensland (except perhaps to visit with Evie's sister there) but I do dream of travelling lightly through my life. Of being able to sit still in my body without constantly having to shift to bear the weight of my stuff. So with thoughts of shedding skin already in my head and heart I was inspired by Bindu Wiles' most recent post. Synchronicities like this make me feel even more as if I took the right turn. 

You'll maybe be glad to know I've settled on a new blog design too. Although as of tomorrow - Thursday - there'll be a rather fierce-looking woman in the profile pic. Or, someone in a balaclava.

Jul 28, 2010 in Ageing, body, Charlie, Evie, Life | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBack (0)

Nearly there

So I got a fire lit beneath me this week courtesy the incredible Sas Lockey and the ongoing mutual cheerleading from my BBC sistren.

This morning I woke at 3 AM with the worst migraine thanks to my body celebrating its release from contraceptive hormones after many years by falling in synch with the full moon. Left to sleep under my medication, I did for a while and then got slightly manic (classic post-migraine reaction for me) about wasting precious, child-free time. I got busy designing and ordering fliers for the new addition to the Wag Bark Love (gonnabe) empire and some mini-Moos to put in with the Shapeshifting stones.

I still have store copy to write for the stones and quite a few changes to make to the WBL website but I'm pacing myself.

Doing small things with great love.

Talking of small things and great love...

have a great holiday weekend.

  Wbl flier display

  Stones for moo 001

  Stonesbackgrey

May 28, 2010 in Ageing, BBC, Craft, Dogs, Dreams, Migraine, Reiki, Wild | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

Project Natural: week 10

While I wait for Lost to appear on my computer, I'm going to treat you to a fascinating look at the roots of my hair. I know, with these posts I am really spoiling you (with apologies to those for whom this is not a cultural landmark).

Last time I posted a pic was at four weeks without dye. Remember? Of course you do, you think about it daily.

Here's week 10. Yowzer.

Hair240510

Hair twisted back so you can see. Pretty darn white in places, huh?

I have to say it's not an easy ride. It looks a bloody mess, especially since I had my hair cut and then cut off a load more myself. Yeah, good move. I don't really know how to 'wear' it when it's not all long enough to tie back or up. But it grows fast.

I've wobbled once and put a toner on it that lasted about a week and wasn't very convincing. It's as if my hair has developed a mind of its own and henceforth will not be accepting any calls from Mr Clairol.

I have days when I love it and days when I think I'm making a huge mistake. It hasn't been well-received by anyone I know. They all look at me as if perhaps I've developed a drink problem and simply forgotten to bathe and look after myself. Charlie says I don't look like me anymore.

It is hard.

I may cave in.

But if I do, I think it will be by growing it out a bit further - with the help of temporary colour - and then maybe recolouring it but in a much lighter colour than I had it before. Not blonde, but very light. I don't know.

I don't know.


May 24, 2010 in Ageing, Going grey | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

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  • "Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."
    ~ Khalil Gibran